Adult Children of Alcoholics: Healing from Childhood Trauma

When there are things so awful that they can’t be talked about, you feel there is something awful about you and that you’ll be judged and cast away. When you feel unworthy, you cant love yourself and you cant let others love you either. You’ll find others who understand what you’re going through and can support your healing journey.

What are the Symptoms of PTSD in Young Children?

This is because they never had someone show them how to healthily identify, label, and communicate their needs. And because they rely on others for almost anything, it’s common for these children to grow up feeling like they can’t do anything right. They lose all confidence in their abilities because they never have to practice them. When these children become adults, they may still have a hard time processing or sharing their emotions and understanding the reasons behind their feelings. They may also struggle to control their responses or reactions, as well as demonstrate more impulsive behavior that can be regretful or self-sabotaging. Adult children of alcoholics may also struggle with low self-esteem.

Comorbid Mental Health Conditions

Reframe Harmful BeliefsMany children blame themselves for their parent’s addiction or carry misplaced guilt into adulthood. Therapy can help reframe these beliefs, teaching children to recognize they are not responsible for their parent’s choices. A significant emotional toll comes from the erosion of intimacy and trust. Alcoholism distances the individual from their loved ones, leaving the partner to shoulder responsibilities alone. Partners often feel conflicted, as they may still love the person they knew but are hurt by the actions of the alcoholic they see daily.

Learn New Emotional and Behavioral Tools

Often, meeting with a therapist for adult children of alcoholics can help you understand symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder. At Wisdom Within Counseling, holistic, creative, somatic therapies support positive coping tools. If left untreated, children of alcoholics (especially those who also experience PTSD) may develop other problems too.

These behavioral patterns can significantly impact their social development and ability to form healthy relationships later in life. Other psychological effects of alcoholic parents on children can include difficulties forming attachments and trusting other individuals in their lives. Consequently, they may fear authority figures or people in general and become isolated. Others may develop more difficult disorders such as reactive attachment disorder or borderline personality disorder.

Growing up in an alcoholic home, you feel insecure and crave acceptance. The constant lying, manipulation, and harsh parenting makes it hard to trust people. You work hard, always trying to prove your worth and make others happy. Many ACOAs are very successful, hard-working, and goal-driven.Some struggle with alcohol or other addictions themselves. ACoAs are up to 10 times more likely to become addicted to alcohol13 themselves. Having a father addicted to alcohol increases both men’s and women’s risk of alcoholism while growing up with a mother addicted to alcohol tends to increase women’s risk more than men’s.

• Children of alcoholics face a unique set of emotional challenges.
• Support groups like Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA) can provide a sense of community and shared understanding that is invaluable in the recovery process.
• Typically, at a young age, children form an emotional attachment with their caregivers, and this has an influence on their development.
• Public incidents, such as causing a scene, drinking excessively, or becoming inebriated, can leave partners feeling humiliated.
• Spouses often develop co-dependency, a condition marked by an unhealthy focus on meeting the needs of the alcoholic at the expense of their own well-being.
• I offer somatic, holistic, experiential therapies of art, yoga, music, and outdoor walk and talk therapy in sessions in addition to talk-based counseling to fully support your PTSD healing process.

How to Heal From Sexual Trauma

Acknowledge and Process TraumaRecognizing and addressing the emotional impact of growing up with an alcoholic parent is essential. Therapy, particularly trauma-focused approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), can help children unpack and process their feelings. The erratic behavior of an alcoholic parent fosters anxiety and insecurity. Children may feel neglected or abandoned, as the parent’s focus shifts toward their addiction. These emotional wounds can manifest as low self-worth, difficulty expressing emotions, and fear of rejection in adulthood.

• They need therapy both on their own and with you to work through their trauma.
• Whether you’re a partner seeking boundaries and self-care, or a child working to process the complexities of growing up in an alcoholic household, help is available.
• Join our global mission of connecting patients with addiction and mental health treatment.
• And even when you do start to rely on others, it’s very common for ACoAs to fear abandonment.7 The volatility of your childhood makes it difficult to believe that love can be consistent.
• Therapy and CounselingSeeking professional therapy is critical for children and partners who deal with PTSD from an alcoholic spouse.
• There are people who can help you with the struggle you’re facing.
• Often, children blame themselves for their parents who are unable to nurture them due to alcoholism.

Watching your parents express anger, rage, and belligerence is emotionally stressful for you, as a child. This loss of control frequently leads to the development of a hyper-controlling personality as a coping mechanism. This emerging personality is a major risk factor for the development of mental illness. From depression and anxiety to PTSD, alcoholics’ family members are susceptible to a range of mental illnesses. Getting help for the alcoholic in your family is the only way to protect the rest of your loved ones from becoming collateral damage.

Catalina Behavioral Health can help you to create healthy relationships in your life, whether you have younger children or an adult child. We offer family therapy as ptsd alcoholic parent a core component of our programs, so that you can work through trauma with your kids and set them up for success in the future. Physical symptoms of PTSD can include sleep disturbances and somatic complaints. Children of alcoholic parents may experience nightmares, insomnia, or other sleep-related issues.

How Long Do You Stay in Residential Treatment?

A third cause is an alcohol or drug addiction of some kind, which can result in behavior similar to the symptoms of the above two mental disorders. Depending on the severity of the addiction, these behaviors might disappear when the alcoholic gets his addiction under control. This person operates under the rest of the family’s radar, always quiet, regularly going unnoticed, and often absent. A family instinctively forms an equilibrium contributed to by all members’ inherent and learned traits. Adult children of alcoholics may also need to consider seeking help for themselves.

They may feel compelled to control or “fix” their partner’s behavior, leading to frustration and burnout. This PTSD from an alcoholic spouse can also foster feelings of guilt and inadequacy, as partners often blame themselves for their loved one’s addiction. Unfortunately, for children growing up with alcoholic parents, where the caregiving is unstable or even abusive, and this situation can represent a complex (or on-going) trauma experience. I grew up with a mother who suffers from an alcohol use disorder and my healing began with recognizing how much I’d been affected.

Some people have co-occurring disorders, such as depression or anxiety, or a personality disorder. They make a significant impact on day-to-day life and long-term health and happiness. For most people, a combination of therapy and medication is helpful to the recovery process.